January 2025 & Embrace the Let Them Theory
Hello 2025! This year, one of my new big life goals is to embrace the Let Them Theory. According to Mel Robbins the author who wrote a bout about this emotional gift … “When you "Let Them" do whatever it is that they want to do, it creates more control and emotional peace for you and a better relationship with the people in your life. The Let Them Theory—a groundbreaking approach to reclaiming your life by focusing on what you can control and releasing what you can’t.”
“The Let Them Theory helps you prioritize what truly matters and put yourself first. Through relatable stories and science-backed strategies, Robbins provides a toolkit to rediscover your inner power, transform your relationships, and find the happiness you deserve.”
With travel, there can be many stresses during the planning, the execution, and the enjoyment phases. So with my boys, I am moving forward with the Let Them Theory. We had planned an adventure to Alaska this summer, but it was more my idea than theirs. So I asked them if they really wanted to go and they ultimately decided they wanted to pass to hang with their buddies this summer. It was a super simple conversation and now everyone is happy with the result. And I am confident I will get to Glacier Bay National Park one day!
Photo from the newly renovated PDX … bathroom entrance tiles for our Rose City!
I found this write up on Facebook about the theory and wanted to share as it relates to relationships …
“Are you familiar with the “Let Them” theory? I’ll tell you friends the more I grow the more I am okay with accepting the “Let Them” in my own life and relationships.
This is something that took me a very long time to learn. I used to tolerate a lot because I didn't want to lose people. But I learned the hard way if they were really my people they would never treat me like that. Don't make the mistake of being so understanding and forgiving that you overlook the fact that you're being repeatedly disrespected.
Let them be upset. Let them judge you. Let them misunderstand you. Let them gossip about you. Let them ignore you. Let them be "right." Let them doubt you. Let them not like you. Let them not speak to you. Let them run your name in the ground. Let them make you out to be the villain. Whatever it is that people want to say about you, let them!
Kindly step aside and LET THEM.
The hard truth is they know how much they are hurting you. And they just simply don't care. They did it knowing it could cause them to lose you. And they did it anyway. People that love you care about how they make you feel. The end. Let them go.
There will be people that would rather lose you than be honest about what they've done to you. Let them go.
The lack of respect was the closure. The lack of apology was the closure. The lack of care was the closure.. The lack of accountability was the closure. The lack of honestly was the closure. Let them go.
Make the decision to no longer sit at tables where you might be the topic when you get up. Let them go.
You can still be kind. You can even still love them deeply. But do it from the distance they created in their words and actions. Access to you is a privilege they have proven they can’t be trusted with. Let them go.
You don’t need to tell your side of the story. Let them go.
It’s taken me a long time to get here. Sleepless nights, countless tears, managing a range of emotions filled with anger, disappointment, confusion and deep hurt. Lots of self reflection, self preservation, and seeking wisdom from those much wiser than me.
If you are struggling with this please know you are not alone. We will never understand why hurt people hurt people. But we can do the hard work to grow ourselves. Because healed people do in fact heal people.
Don’t you dare let them steal your joy. Don’t you dare let them steal your light. Don’t you dare let them steal your peace. You are in control of that. Hold tight to what you can control and release your grip on what you can’t control.
Let them go.”